THE BERMUDA CURSE PART 2
by
Johnny Culver
Wendy – Middle aged, run down, grey stringy hair, could be mistaken for a homeless woman
Jimmy – Middle aged, frail, glasses, bow tie
Levi – Bartender, big, muscular, delicate
The empty and poorly decorated run down Esther’s Bar, Greenwich Village New York City, about 10pm, a few days before Christmas, 2009.
Wendy sits at a table, slouched over her
crossword magazine, hair covering her face. Jimmy quietly approaches, with
drinks in hand.
JIMMY
So, Wendy, what did you think?
WENDY
(startled)
Huh? Geez, Jimmy, don’t scare me like that. I got a Bic pen in my hand. What if I jabbed myself and got ink poisoning?
JIMMY
I’d think if you were going to get ink poisoning, you would have by now. With all the pens we pass out in the supply room.
WENDY
True. I wonder why you don’t see more poisoned squid around.
JIMMY
That’s stupid.
(Awkward pause)
Wendy, what did you think?
WENDY
About what?
JIMMY
The readings! What’s been going on here for the last hour? Were you even listening?
WENDY
Oh yea, sure I was listening, Jimmy. I can listen and not look like I’m listening.
JIMMY
Mywriting group has been planning this for months. The least you could have done was pay attention.
WENDY
(Looks around)
Not too much of a writing group, Jimmy. Looks like you did all this planning, just for you.
(Directly at Jimmy)
Funny how I never met anyone from your writing group. Funny, isn’t it? In all these years, I never met -
JIMMY
(uncomfortable)
The others, well, they, they had…other things to do. So it was just me.
(Looks at table)
You drank your drinks already? You ordered already?
WENDY
What
drinks? I didn’t order nothing.
JIMMY
Wendy, there was a 2 drink minimum tonight! How do you think I got to use Esther’s Bar for free? The bar makes money from the drinks you buy! The bartender makes tips!
WENDY
They make a lotta money from the drinks you buy here! I asked that guy how much a Diet Coke was and the guy said…six dollars! And it wasn’t even real Coke! So I just went to the ladies room and drank outta the faucet. And I gotta tip for the bartender; ease up on the cologne!
JIMMY
I don’t want to think about that…six dollars?
(looks to bar)
Which bartender said that? He’s must be wrong. My beer was a dollar fifty. Maybe I got a performers discount.
WENDY
The guy behind the bar with the Santa hat and leather vest! And if you get close to the bar like I did, you would see his leather hot pants too. Just between you , me and Macys, I just think he likes you more than he likes me.
JIMMY
I didn’t notice…That’s Levi. I’ve known him since I first moved to New York City. Remember, we worked in the Customer Service department? Chet and I would come in here after work. Have a few beers and sit and talk and talk.
WENDY
(changing subject0
What kind of a bartender is he?
(laughs)
He don’t look so tough.
JIMMY
That’s not funny. Leave Levi alone. He’s one of the few friends I have left. You don’t know what it’s like.
WENDY
I’m sorry, Jimmy, I didn’t mean anything… Some bartender; ripping off poor young ladies, and at Christmastime.
JIMMY
You’re not poor, Wendy, and certainly not young. Maybe they had a beer special.
WENDY
(Looks at beer can)
This swill? We got cases of it left in the basement at home. My Pa used to clean the lawn mower blades with it in the summer. It made the grass turn brown too. The beer must be bad by now, after thirty years.
JIMMY
Did you like my stories, Wendy?
WENDY
It seems like so long ago. Pa cutting the back yard with the hand mower - barefoot, Ma yellin’ for him to be careful of his toes, because her cousin Ralph got one cut off in the very same situation the summer before, ruining their Forth of July. It seems like just yesterday…
(Snaps back)
I heard every one of your stories.
JIMMY
(Eager for a response)
Which one did you like best? The Christmas narrative? Or the poem about on Fifth Avenue. Or maybe the Old West story?
WENDY
All of the above…I just gotta finish this here crossword magazine before Jimmy gets here.
(Jimmy glares at he, drumming his fingers on
the table)
What? He buys me a new one every Thursday night. And tonight is Thursday night. And if I don’t have the one he bought me last Thursday night done by this Thursday night, then he don’t buy me a new one this Thursday night.
JIMMY
What?
WENDY
It’s a little thing we got going, just between him and me. Pretty romantic for two old coots like us, huh?
JIMMY
It’ll make a great Lifetime movie, Wendy.
WENDY
Then, after he gives me the new crossword magazine, we go out for dinner. And he checks my old crossword magazine. If I got all them done and done right, well, he pays for dinner and takes me home! Only on Thursday, that is. If we go out any other night, we go Dutch treat! I think we’re going out Christmas day, though. Maybe we’ll drive out to the Ground Round out in Levittown.
JIMMY
It doesn’t sound very Christmas-y. At least you’ll be with someone. With Hermey. Me, I’ll probably just come back down here. To Esther’s. Keep Levi company.
WENDY
This’ll be the first time I’m all alone in the house at Christmas, since Ma died. Maybe me and Hermey will go out to the cemetery, on our way to the Ground Round.
(sighs)
That old Astoria house is so big, too big for just me…one of these days I have to clean out her bedroom, open the windows, get a little air in there. It’s still just the way it was, her suitcase laying on the bed, the souvenirs she brought me back from Bermuda tucked into the corner. She never got to give em to me, ya know. The price tags are still on em. Them cute little ceramic dolphins. Poor Ma. She never got to develop the pictures she took on them Bermuda beaches. She told me she even had a taken a picture of the spider. The one that bit her. That poisonous spider…
(pause)
Some 70th birthday present that turned out to be. I saved and saved to get that trip for her. And look what happened. If only I got her that fur coat she wanted, instead. No poison spiders there. Living in the pockets. Maybe baby minks lived in the pockets.
(sniffles)
…oh, and I never thanked you for the nice condolences card you sent.
(Takes card out of purse)
I still carry it around with me. It was the only card I got. I’m surprised I got it at all. The mailman said he could hardly make out your handwriting.
JIMMY
Wendy, I mailed that to you a month ago. You should put it away for safekeeping. With the rest of your mothers things. Maybe with the dolphins.
WENDY
Whatever. You never told me what you did with the money you won.
JIMMY
What money?
WENDY
The money you say you won. See? Right here in the envelope. “I won 1005” Dollars I guessed.
JIMMY
What?
(looks at envelope)
Wendy, that’s your zip code. 11105. See? Not “I won 1005”. You need reading glasses.
WENDY
Ma’s got a couple pair in her …suitcase…i guess I’ll have to go through it now.
(sighs)
JIMMY
(Trying to change the subject)
What if you don’t get them all done and done right? The crosswords?
WENDY
I dunno. It never happened before?
(Looks at magazine)
“Merv Griffin created this TV game show…8 letters” Geez, that’s easy
(Writes in magazine)
“The Merv Griffin Show”. There!
JIMMY
That’s not right, and it’s not eight letters! It won’t fit.
WENDY
You don’t have to use all the letters, Jimmy. Just the ones that fit.
JIMMY
(Sits, exasperated)
What did you think of my pieces? The stories of mine that were read? After all this time, I finally had my stories heard by an audience. This could be the big break I’ve been-
WENDY
“Green Acres’ Arnold...three letters” – Horshack!
(Sighs and puts down pen)
OK, Jimmy. I liked your stuff, I really did. You made me…proud.
JIMMY
(estatic)
You really liked them!
WENDY
Sure! It took a lotta guts for you to stand up in front of all these people…
(Looks around)
Well, these few people, well, me, and read your stuff out loud, here, in front of strangers…
JIMMY
What about the things that you DID hear? Did you like them?
WENDY
I liked the one about them lobsters dancing around on the beach. On their matching towels.
JIMMY
What? That’s a song from the jukebox, Wendy. Rock Lobster!
WENDY
It’s not my fault, Jimmy. The bartender should’ve turned down the jukebox when you was reading your stuff. Although watching your lips move when you was reading and the music playing, it was like Karaoke night at the VFW!
JIMMY
I spent months writing all this, Wendy. You weren’t paying attention at all. I may just write full time, Wendy. Quit my job. Maybe go back to school. I’m not too old.
WENDY
That’s a good idea. My mother went back to school when she was your age. Fifty.
JIMMY
Correction: Forty nine.
WENDY
OK. Almost fifty. She was the oldest girl in the 7th grade.
JIMMY
(Horn honks outside)
WENDY
That must be Hermey. He said he was gonna pick me up at 10.
JIMMY
I didn’t know he has a car.
WENDY
He doesn’t. He takes the bus.
(stands)
JIMMY
Then who is honking the horn?
WENDY
(takes coat)
The bus driver Jimmy!
(goes to exit)
Thanks Jimmy, I gad a good time tonight.
JIMMY
Sure you did. I’ll never be a famous writer.
WENDY
It’s one thing to read them to me back in the file room at the publishing company, but…
(Horn honks outside)
It takes real guts to do it here. Good night Jimmy.
(Goes out door, then turns)
You know Jimmy, you may never be a famous
writer, but you sure a good one. (exits)
JIMMY
Thanks Wendy!
(He picks up his beer and walks off)
THE END