I WISH FOR A FISH
Violet
Jimmy
Donna
Wilma Rae
Jimmy
Stella Knox
The terrazzo floored interior mall in front of the Fish Wish
Pet store at the Hilltop Mall, on Route 800, near
A cold dry January in 1978
V (enters)
Surprise, Jimmy!
J
Wha….
V
Since you couldn’t come to our monthly meeting of the Duck County Ladies Club, we decided to bring the meeting to you!
D
I voted against it, and for good reason, it stinks in here! Is this a pet store or a bait store?
J
I…ah…I am working; I could get into trouble…
D
It doesn’t look like you’re doing much work right now, and I’ve been past this pet store before, you got more dead animals coming out than customers coming in!
V
It is a little warm in here, but you know this mall is always
a little too warm for me, especially in the winter, over by the
D
Your could make turtle soup--
J
We’re right above the boiler for the entire mall; it gets pretty hot in here when the boiler is on in the winter…hey, you guys can’t stay, what if my manager comes in?
D
(Looks at watch) It’s only 1:15, Jimmy Sweeney, your manager won’t be out of school until at least three, and knowing that boy, he’ll most likely have to stay for detention anyway. You passed the background check when they hired you, right Jimmy?
V
Donna, leave the boy alone…he’s busy enough… (looks at Jimmy) I see you’ve been picking at your forehead again, Jimmy. What are you so nervous about these days?
D
Can we get this meeting over with? I have very important things to do this afternoon!
V
Donna Glotz, your unemployment check came in the mail yesterday, you have nothing to do until you are hired back at the Town Tooter. Now, Jimmy, whats the matter? We have a few minutes before Wilma Rae gets back from parking the car…you can tell your troubles to your fellow members of the Duck County Ladies Club…
D
I ‘m sure she parked in the farthest parking spot from here. You house mate can be a little too cautious, Violet Treadway. The parking lot is empty as it is!
J
(adjusting his hearing aid) Well, before I left for work, Ma was watching the TV news and they had this story about New York City and how dangerous it was there with all the sex and violence, and ever since the Bicentennial things have gotten worse and worse there , then I go I hope they get rid of all the crime before I move there next month and she goes that she isn’t giving five hundred dollars to any son of mine to move there to live on the streets and get killed then she goes she would rather put the five hundred dollars she had saved for that son of hers towards the used Plymouth Dodge Dart that she heard about on Bargain Bill and his all new Classifieds on the radio this morning (he stops and gasps for air) They’re right next door you know.
D
I heard about that car too, on the radio. It sounds like a nice car.
V
Donna Glotz, you can’t even afford a tank of gasoline, much less a car to wrap around that tank-
J
So now I am all ready to go to
D
J
Uh, I dunno, just met him…I just gotta get to
K(whispers)
Do you have any bird seed? For my birds down at the public library?
J
I dunno, you can go look. (she goes into store)
D
I can see what sales are so low during your shift.
J
I just don’t know what to do…
V
After that explanation, I can see why you’re picking your forehead, Jimmy. Maybe we can talk to your mother, reason with her. She’s been cooped up in that house far too long. We could take her out to the pasta palace, then to a movie, and maybe get her to change her mind. I’ve known her since high school, you know. She could walk back then.
D
Midnight Cowboy is playing at the Piney Fork Dollar Theater tonight-
V
Hmmm, a Western may just get her mind away from all the sex
and violence that they say is going on in
J
NO! She would not want to go all the way out to the Holiday Inn…I mean….she would never get her wheelchair through the revolving door…I’ll never be a famous writer…
D
Well, that’s true. It is a bit far and their drinks are
pretty watered down, but that
J
He sure does…
V
Jimmy Sweeney, all those months you spent at the
W
(breathless) OK, we are parked in the kangaroo parking section. So if, I forget, tell me that we parked in the kangaroo lot-
D
What if we forget to tell you that?
W
Then, Donna, we will just have to walk home! How can someone forget a kangaroo? Then how can you forget the kangaroo parking section? Oh hello Jimmy Sweeney. I see you haven’t been using that Octagon soap like I suggested. I’ll dry up those oily pores on your face in no time! It did wonders with that blister on my heel. And my customers down at the beauty barn swear it cleans their wigs so well…
D
We don’t want to hear about it
W
It is a little ripe in here. I ‘m glad I didn’t wear my coat on the back from the kangaroo parking section. (Mrs. Knox comes out of store with a large bag of bird seed) Stella Knox? Who is running the public library if you are here at the mall? What if someone wanted to make a Photostat copy?
K
(whispers)We close for lunch, cause everyone in town is home listening to Bargain Bill and His All New Classifieds radio show (she points to radio stations storefront) Which reminds me, I gotta get rid of some books from the library. Maybe I could call his show. And the Photostat’s broke.
V
Get rid of books? Why, Stella?
K (whispers)
Cause no one ever checks them out. And I gotta get some money to pay to get the Photostat machine fixed. (to Jimmy) Mail me the invoice (she exits)
J
She always does that, but I have no idea what she is saying. (points to ear) That’s my bad ear.
D
That’s why sales are so low, Jimmy Sweeney, cause Stella Knox never pays you! That’s one shifty librarian! And a broken Photostat!
W
Oh my, all those goldfish floating on the top of the tank. Is that normal? Are they alive?
D
Put your face in real close and see, Wilma Rae.
V
Ladies please…speaking of the
D
They asked the Duck County Ladies Club for suggestions? We can’t even get the gender of our members’ straight (looks at Jimmy) er, right. I suggest we let the school raise their own money. We have better things to do...well, not really. You know, Violet, back at your house you’ve been getting terrible television reception the whole week I have been staying there,. You may want to think of calling in a repairman.
W
A repairman! Donna, I have had enough of your complaining! For a week now, I have had to listen to you do nothing but complain. That and chug Reingold beer like its going out of style! ! If I knew how, I would walk right over to the cold unheated house of yours and fix that broken boiler myself! I wouldn’t even charge you that 500 dollars to fix it, like the boiler man is!
J
(jiggling hearing aid) You know how to walk, Miss Soar. What you mean is that you don’t know how to fix a boiler.
W
I thnk Donna knew what I meant, Jimmy, but thank you anyway.
And I think that anything we can do for the
V
You took two classes there, Wilma Rae. Basic Gardening and Greeting Card Writing. Neither was very useful. Our front lawn has been brown as dirt for years..
D
And the Christmas card you got me this year was from the IGA. I saw it there myself. By the register.
W
All right, anyone else want to knock me down? Is this gang up on Wilma Rae Soar Day? Let’s just drop it. Violet, just get this meeting over with so I can get back to work. I have a few…wig fittings this afternoon. Someone has to work around here. I’m going to wait the car! In the Kangaroo parking section! (she stomps off)
V
I don’t have the heart to tell her that the entire parking lot is the Kangaroo parking section She has so much on her mind, with her new wig business and all. (Wilma returns)
D
Kangaroo, Wilma…like this? (she jumps)
W
No, I just spotted Bargain Bill walking through the mall!
V
If you are shy, I can get his autograph for you.
W
No, its…it’s that, well I owe him money!
V
Money?
D
Money?
J
(Fiddling with hearing aid) Whats funny?
W
Well, I have been advertising on his radio show, Bargain Bill and his all New Classified for about a year now, ever since, I added wig styling to my…lineup of services at my Beauty Barn.
D
More like a dis-services.
V
Please Donna, Do you only want one can of Rheingold beer tonight?
D
Ok…
V
He charged me a discount rate of ten dollars a plug, so for about a year he has been saying good things about my new wig styling services on the radio-
D
He has? I never heard…
V
Oh my!
W
And business has been kind of slow these days with all these new trends in hair.
D
Like real hair!
J
Ma’s wheelchair is in real fine condition, thanks.
W
So, I figure I owe him about…five hundred dollars!!! (she goes into store) I’ll just hide in here, until he passes…ooof, it sure is smelly in this store!
V
Well, it seems that the redecorating the
J
(fiddling) My mother? She’s just fine, Mrs. Treadway.
D
Oh, geez, I shoulda stayed home with my six pack of….Rheingold!
End of Scene One.