Characters:
VERNA –fifty, poorly dressed
CLAUDINE – mid eighties, conservative dress,
wearing a raincoat, and plastic bonnet
TRIXIE – plain waitress
MAN
Setting
A musty old tavern on the far West Side of town
A rainy Saturday evening. The
place is empty.
SCENE
ONE
VERNA sits at a table with CLAUDINE. Two empty
glasses are on the table.
TRIXIE is at the end of the bar reading the
newspaper.
MAN sits across from her.
VERNA
(Depressed)
Some birthday this turned out to be. I don't have
a penny to my name. I'm back home living with my 85 year old mother, I have a
dead end job, folding towels at a women’s exercise club, and I’m forced to
spend my 50th birthday at...
(Reads menu cover)
...the Cork! If I had known it'd be like this fifty years ago, I’d never have been born!
(Scratches crud off menu and flocks it away)
Was that a piece of shrimp?
CLAUDINE
Don't be silly, Verna dear, that haven't served
seafood here in years! Just look at the menu and order, dear. Let's have a good
time. It’s not every day you turn fifty!
(Picks up her own menu
and reads the cover
Oh my...“The Cork...Fine dining since 1950..GRamercy 2-5700”. The first time I saw this menu was
with your father. Our first date together. I was so nervous; I nearly chewed
off the edge of the menu! I remember the first time I had the apple pie here.
VERNA
(Examines the corner of her own menu and switches
with CLAUDINE)
I think this belongs to you.
(Looks thru menu)
Maybe it was wrong of me to leave my husband, but its nice coming home
to a quiet apartment at the end of a long day...
(Puts down menu)
It's almost too quiet...where do you go all day, Mother? You’re never
around. When I need you. You’re gone all day, and all
night. Just like when I was little. I was all alone.
CLAUDINE
Well, I go to work. Someone has to pay the rent.
Put food on the table.
VERNA
I said I'd help with the rent, as soon as I have
a little money saved. Stop nagging.
(CLAUDINE looks at Verna over her glasses)
It’s not good for someone your age to be working
so much, and where are you the rest of the day? You're never home until late at
night. You didn’t come in until very late last night! I heard you come in and put your shopping
basket away. The stupid wicker basket I tripped over this morning. You should
have a nice rolling cart, like the other old ladies.
TRIXIE
(At
bar looking at paper)
Here’s another story about Apple Betty. Says she saved
a little girls life, pulled her out of the street last night...out of traffic…says
the mayor is going to give her a medal tonight. Apple Betty.
MAN
What’s a little girl doing in the middle of a
busy street in the middle of the night? Apple Betty deserves more than a medal
for all she’s done for this city over the years.
TRIXIE
Apple Betty is always saving someone’s life, or
doing a good deed. Or stopping criminals.
MAN
Where does she get all those green apples? The
apples she throws at the criminals? To stop them?
TRIXIE
When I was a little girl, I always wanted a
basket of green apples, just like her.
CLAUDINE
Don’t worry about me, Verna, I get along, I can
take care of myself...what are you going to order? I always liked their Waldorf
salad with the French dressing....I may just have that broiled chicken, too.
VERNA
(Points
to register)
If it looks like that dusty plastic thing in the
display case by the register, I'll pass on the poultry.
(Puts down menu)
Mother, I never see you. I thought if I moved
back with you, I could turn my life around. Don’t you want that? I need to get
my life together. I thought you could help me.
CLAUDINE
Whatever is best for you, order what you want,
dear. It's your birthday.
(Waves to waitress)
Trixie is here tonight! She's been here for years. Her mother used to
run the place, rest her soul. As I recall, her birthday is the same day as
yours. Today!
TRIXIE
I used to beg and beg my mother for a basket like Apple Betty’s, the
one day, I woke up and next to my bed was a wicker basket, and a dress, old
granny dress, just like Apple Betty’s!
MAN
My daughter has an Apple Betty costume with a
grey wig and a basket with plastic apples. I bought the whole set in a costume
shop. She wears it all the time. Can’t get it off her.
She’s even member of a club that mails her a postcard from Apple Betty on her
birthday.
TRIXIE
It’s not a real club, I think…I would run around
the house with my basket of apples, real green apples I took from a neighbor’s
tree, throwing apples and stopping crimes and saving lives.
MAN
My little girl saves all the newspaper clippings
about Apple Betty and put them in a scrapbook.
She knows every word in those clippings…she knows that Apple Betty
leaves a fresh green apple, wherever she goes.
VERNA
(Turns
away from MOTHER)
You were never around, mother. Always
left me with a sitter. You never had time for me. Didn’t then and don’t
now.
(Folds
arms)
I want to get out of here. This
dump.
CLAUDINE
I’ll have the Waldorf salad…grapes,
raisins, celery, apples…
VERNA
(Getting upset)
You’re not listening to me, mother. At
least pay attention to me on my birthday…
TRIXIE
I always dreamed that Apple Betty would
wish me happy birthday, and my whole life would change.
MAN
They say whoever she wishes a happy birthday has
good luck for the rest of their lives.
VERNA
You were never around on my birthday. Always away somewhere. N one ever knew where you were.
CLAUDINE
…and maybe a piece of apple pie…it’s so good
here…
VERNA
I can’t even remember you telling me happy
birthday!
(She
stands)
I’m going home.
CLAUDINE
(Sighs
and stands )
All right, dear, let’s go home and I’ll make you hot
cider. We’ll sit and talk. But I do have
to be somewhere later on.
(Picks
up her handbag, a green apple sits on the table behind it)
VERNA
(Puts
on her coat)
That’s just great, Mother, leave me all alone
like you always do.
CLAUDINE
Yes dear.
(Heads
to door, and stops at bar)
Well hello, Trixie. I remember it’s your
birthday. Happy birthday!
TRIXIE
(Surprised)
What? Oh thank you Claudine. Have a nice evening.
(Claudine
exits)
What a nice woman. She’s known me even since I
was a little girl.
VERNA
Mother, wait for…oh, what’s the use…
(Picks
up apple from table, looks around and takes a bite)
Some 50th birthday.
(Takes
another bite and heads out, dropping apple in the trash by the bar. She exits)
(TRIXIE
and the MAN are left alone, as the lights fade out)
THE END