“Sit and Spin in the Krazy Kar”
Johnny Culver
917 691 6884
CHARACTERS
Dolly - middle aged woman. Bossy, controlling.
Dressed in early 1800 Empire clothing. Speaks as a person
would from that time.
Debby - young woman. Childlike, innocent. Dressed in early 1900
country girl clothing. Speaks simply, with a Great
Plains twang.
Mona – whiny middle aged woman. A little off kilter. Dressed in clothing that would have been
fashionable in Fifties suburbia.
Herschel – her son.
SETTING
The driver’s side of an over sized 1970’s Buick sedan parked on a brick
side street in a beach neighborhood.
Leafy trees hide some of the homes. We can see a bit of the beach in the
background.
It is a hot summer afternoon in the present.
DOLLY
(Impatiently pacing along the side of the car, next
to the open driver door)
Goodness, where is that lazy girl? How long does it take to go door to door
and sell our-my baked goods? She had better return with an empty basket and a
jarful of…coins! Coins we desperately need!
MONA
(In front seat)
Dolly, it’s hot in here. I’m sticking to the seat. I shoulda brought one
a them beach towels with me. To sit on. The back of my
legs are burning. One of Herschel's old beach towels, from
the basement.
DOLLY
Goodness! We have traveled so far today. The day is finally coming to
and end. And we have to sell the last of our baked goods. My
baked goods.
MONA
Well you
better sell the rest of ‘em before they go bad in the trunk back there. I don’t
want any crumbs in that trunk.
(Points to trunk)
This isn’t a delivery fan. It’s a car. It’s Herschel's pride and joy.
All he has to remember his father by. If Myron knew I was using his Buick sedan
to deliver, I’d never hear the end of it, when he comes
back-
DOLLY
(Not hearing Mona)
We still have time, we will sell them, There
are many homes here. Homes in want of my baked items.
Our labors will be fruitful. Where is that lazy girl?
MONA
I gotta get the car back before my son, Herschel, figures out it’s gone.
We’ll have to stop at the filling station to fill up the tank before we get
back. He checks the gas, and the…odo-domoniter. He doesn’t trust me, my
Herschel. Dolly, you’re gonna have to chip in for the gas. I didn’t bring any
money with me. Herschel’s gonna be-
(Starts to adjust electric seat)
I gotta get this seat adjusted back to just the way it was. Herschel keeps the seat adjusted just like
his father kept it adjusted. He always
wanted to be just like his father, Myron.
DEBBY
(Enters, runs in to back of car. Her open shoes
clatter on the street. She carries a wicker basket)
Forgive me for my lateness. I became unaware of the time.
DOLLY
Goodness! I have been out in this heat for quite a while, young
lady. Do you know why I have been out in
this heat?
MONA
(Interrupting)
It is pretty hot out here. But not as hot as it used to be back
where I live. Back in the days...it’s not as close to the beach, like here…those
hot summer afternoons...
DOLLY
Debby, I was
waiting for you! I could have suffered a heat stroke. In this heat! How much
time is needed to go to the front door with your basket of baked goods and your
coin jar, ring the bell, offer the man or lady of the house, whoever answers,
some of our baked goods? Then when they offer to pay you, you step into the
cooled entryway, and wait…out of the sun!
DEBBY
(Drops
basket and old fashioned bathing suit and empty money jar fall out)
Oops-
DOLLY
(Points at swim suit)
You, child…you have been to the sea shore. Frolicking in the foam, why,
there is sand on your clothing. Your hair is damp…and full of salt from the
sea. And that -
(Holds up suit)
-shocking beach attire! Wet as well. I don’t think you spent much time
in a cool entryway waiting for your coins.
MONA
(In car)
I can still remember the day my Myron brought home this Buick. I was out
back, hanging the laundry to dry. It was a hot summer day, just like this.
Little Hershel was in the driveway with his new Sit and Spin, a birthday
present from me, or was it a Krazy Kar, what was it called…
DOLLY
(Picks up empty basket)
Well, at least you sold something. Did you have a chance to-?
(Takes money jar out of basket and rattles it to
find only a few coins)
What the - where is our payment? I sent you out with a full basket of
baking. You were to return with an empty
basket and a full jar of coins, not both basket and jar empty!
(Angry)
What happened? While you were –
having fun – in the waves, did a giant squid rise from the water and take your
coins?
(Steps toward Debby)
MONA
Uh oh. I’m staying outta this…or did they call it a Krazy Kar? That yellow
plastic disk with two big wheels on either side…I bought it just for him. I’ll
ask Herschel when I get back home.
(Becomes a bit woozy)
I don’t belong out here, in this car…it’s too
hot. I have to hang out the wash. Myron will be back soon...my head is
spinning…
(Rolls up window)
DEBBY
(Backs away)
Well, I…I…
DOLLY
Tell me
little girl, what happened.
(Silence from Debbie)
Debbie, where
are – my – coins?
DEBBY
Well, I did just as you told. I
went to the last door on the street, rang the bell and waited for a moment. The
door opened and the sweetest old woman answered and she goes…”Hello Little
Girl” And I go. “Hello, would you like to purchase from my assortment of fresh
baked goods? And she goes, “Well they all look so wonderful, of course I would.
Would you take a check? And I go “sure I
would” And she turns and takes her checkbook from her purse which is hanging on
the railing on the hallway behind her-
DOLLY
Did you step into the cooled entryway, and wait? Like I told you to?
Feel the cool stone floor on your feet?
DEBBY
It was so hot, but her front door wasn’t open very far. No room for me to get through. Then, she goes
“Let me look at those baked goods a little closer, dear.” And she takes the
basket from my arm. So she looks at the baked goods and I guess she likes what
she looked at so then she goes “Those oatmeal cookies and square cupcakes look
so good. I’ll take the entire basket ful!”
DOLLY
The entire basket?
DEBBY
The she goes “You are such a sweet girl to be out on such a hot day. I
think you really want to be down on the beach instead of selling baked goods
door to door. What’s your name?” So I go. “Debby. Debbie Madison.” I could hear the waves
breaking on the sand...so close…
DOLLY
Then what happened? Where are-?
DEBBY
I wasn’t looking at her right then; I stepped back and was looking out
to the beach, thinking about if that’s where I really wanted to be, like she
said. Then she goes “Who should I make the check out to, dear?” Then, without
turning around I go, “make it out to my mother, Dolly. Dolly
Madison.”
DOLLY
Get to the point!
DEBBY
Then, before I could turn around, I heard her go “Well, I never!” And
the front door slammed shut. So I heard the door slam shut, and I turned back
and saw the empty basket on the porch and the door slammed shut in front of me.
DOLLY
Well, of all the things I have heard, this one certainly takes the…the…
MONA
(Rolls down window)
Cake?
DOLLY
So what possessed you to go to the beach and frolic in the waves, while
my baked goods were being eaten by some old gypsy? Which home is hers? I 'm
going back there and get what's mine!
MONA
Let’s go, you
two. I have to get back before Herschel finds out I took the car.
(Fading away)
We’re
expecting Myron to come back...soon...
DOLLY
I want
payment for the baked goods! I want my coins!
MONA
Just get in
the car. I’ll give you the money. I have a little put aside...nothing much, you
can have it. Anything to keep from hearing this silly parent
and child bickering. I would never bicker with my Herschel. You are
making my head start to spin. Let’s go! Sit!
DEBBY
Let’s go.
Let’s be on our way. We can sell baked goods again tomorrow.
(Pushes Dolly into the back seat)
MONA
(To back of car)
But you’re
still paying for the gas you used today! No one takes advantage of ol‘Mona!
(The back door slams shut, then windows roll up and
the car sits. After a short moment, Herschel, a young boy, enters, riding in a
sit and spin)
HERSCHEL
It was a hot summer afternoon just like this. Mother was in the back,
hanging the wash on the line and putting up balloons for my birthday party. She
had lemonade and cakes and cookies wrapped in cellophane waiting for us. Then
she heard Father pull into the driveway. He pulled the big new car into the
driveway, honking like it was New Years Eve. The car was so big, it was a big
Buick, he couldn’t see right in front of him.
(He rides back and forth)
He couldn’t see me either, in the driveway, in my new Krazy Kar. It was
a birthday present from Mother. She
called is a Sit and Spin. I was the first on out street to have one.
(He starts to spin slowly in the sit and spin)
Mother heard the honking, but never heard my screaming..By
the time Father turned off the engine and stopped honking, I had stopped
screaming and crying. I was silent. They didn’t find me until a few
minutes later, when Father went to show Mother under the hood. My new sit and
spin was crushed inter the front tires…I was between, my face on the
concrete…Father was so quiet after that, until one day he just walked out the
front door and never came back...he left everything with Mother…I’d be all
grown up by now…going to the beach…driving the Buick…Mothers all alone these
days, with only her friends to keep her company, to ride with her in the Buick.
She loves the adventures she goes on with them, every day, and when she gets
home, she runs to the back yard to hang the wash and to tell me all about her
day.
(Spins a little faster)
Sometimes her head starts to spin and the horns start honking like its
New Years Eve. Then she finds that she’s out in the back of the house, hanging
laundry in the sunshine…and Father and I are there with her, and we unwrap our cakes and cookies, the cellophane wrappers
dancing in the summer breeze…
(A clothesline, with fluttering laundry appears in
the shadows behind him, as he spins faster and the lights slowly fade out)
CURTAIN