“I Wish for a Fish”
Scene Three
Levi (bartender)
Jimmy
Esther’s Bar, Greenwich Village New York City, Spring 1978
Jimmy
(Sitting at the bar, picking forehead) …..so the pet store job really wasn’t much of a job, and I wasn’t making much money…
Levi
(hovering about his only customer) A pet store? With fluffy kittens and bunny rabbits and parrots that talk? Jimmy, stop picking your forehead like that. It’s not too nice to look at.
J
Sorry, I’m just a little anxious these days. Mostly crabs and fish, and old dead stuff. It was more of a bait store.
L
Kinda like this here
neighborhood, Jimmy! That
J
(getting up) I didn’t mean to stay so long. I just…
L
Nothing like that, Jimmy. You just put that little tush of your back on that barstool, and I’ll get you another nice cold beer.
J
I can’t really…I gotta get the newspaper and look through the help wanteds…
L
It’s on the house, Jimmy. Courtesy of Esther’s Bar and Grill. A free beer and some free advice.
J
(looks around) …AND Grill? You serve food here, too?
L
We got a popcorn maker and a hot plate in the back, if anyone one wants a boiled hot dog…I get so busy at the bar though, no time to serve the popcorn and hot dogs. You’se new to the city, right Jimmy? How long you lived here?
J
You know, you could hire someone
to serve the…two weeks,
L
Here’s a little advice. That room
you’re living in, with this…
J
L
OK, what if you see some unmarried
girl trying to get her baby buggy down them icy subway steps at the
J
Sure, those strollers are heavy!
L
No, you do not help her! What if
you slip on them steps while carrying the baby buggy, and you’se gonna have a lawsuit
on your skinny little hands, maybe the baby’s head cracked open, then you in
jail for the rest of your life. What a writer gonna do in jail? There’s nothing
to write about? You’ll be sitting out at Riker’s
J
I never thought of that…and I, well, I don’t have much money, anyway, just whats left of the 500 dollars I brought here with me.
L
You earned that money, Jimmy. It’s your hard earned cash. You want some trashy money hungry unmarried girl taking it all away from you?
J
Well, I didn’t really earn it….I…can’t
talk about it.
L
I always earned my own money. Sold Girl Scout cookies, Jimmy. Made a good bitta money selling them cookies. A good chunka change…
J
You sold girl cookies? You were in girl scouts? But you…you’re…
L
I am all man, Jimmy, always have been. But when you’re twelve years old and you got no money and your sister quit Girl Scouts because they all made fun a her cause she was the only black girl in the troop, cause our mother sent her to down town, cause she wanted her daughter to get a little class in her life, so she quits the Girl Scouts and she throws her uniform down the trash chute and you get it outta the basement…
J
Um…
L
And you see it fits because you and your sister are about the same size...both real skinny. And before you know it, you on the IRT clattering down to Wall Street, going office to office, selling cookies, know all the while that you will never deliver them and the people that you deliver them to are going to forget about you as soon as they close their office doors
J
You never got caught? No one ever stopped you?
L
Jimmy Sweeney? You know how many
big buildings there are on Wall Street and how many doors to there are to knock
on, and how many a them secretaries there are, ready to shell out a buck for a
box a them thin mints? And who would question a poor little black girl from
J
But isn’t that stealing?
L
Where was I gonna get 1 hundred dollars worth a girls scout cookies every week? The goods were undeliverable, Jimmy! And I lost my order notebook! (Awkward pause) I sold them Girl Scout cookies for three years, Jimmy. Playing hooky from school, I saved and saved, until I was 15 and I moved outta that smelly apartment where I lived with my sister, who had a baby by that time, and my mother, who had another boyfriend by that time, and my granny, who was dead by that time, and I moved down here to Greenwich village, where I belonged. I never looked back, no sir, Levi always looks forward. Been working here and giving out my famous free advice ever since.
J
Wow, that’s some story. I should look forward too. Once I get a job.
L
(eyes Jimmy) I still gots that old uniform, Jimmy, you could head
down to them
J
No thanks. (gets up to leave) Levi! Can I give you some free advice?
L
Me take advice from a wet behind
the ears
J
No one comes in here because when they do come in here they want popcorn and boiled hot dogs AND some free advice. You need someone to serve the customers their food and drinks, so you can do what you do best.
L
Now who would want to work in a dive like this and how am I gonna pay them?
J
I would work here, Levi, and you wouldn’t have to pay me. I would work for the tips. I work here at night, and during the day I can look for a daytime writing job! I could get some pretty good tips, too.
L
I bet you could, Jimmy, with that little tush and your nice way about you. You sure could put that Girl Scout uniform to good use. But, you gotta stop picking your forehead, though. It’ll make the customers lose their appetite. Now to back in that kitchen and take a long look around. See what you’ll need to make them popcorns and boiled hot dogs. And check out the basement too. But don’t let the door lock on ya!
J
You won’t be sorry, Levi. (goes into kitchen)
L
That’s right, Jimmy, I won’t be sorry at all. (He goes back to wiping the bar. At the door, Wilma Rae and Donna enter, bundled in coats and scarves) Uh oh, can I help you’se?
D
Uh, no. we’re looking for somebody (removes scarf) what kind of place is this…don’t you ever open the windows in here?
WR
Donna, never mind what kind of place this is. We are on a mission. Remember poor Violet at home. Young man, we are looking for someone.
L
Well, ladies, I think you came to
the wrong place. I think you want the bar across
D
Wilma Rae, can we just sit here and rest for a while. I am tired, and those sidewalks are hard. Now I know how Glen Campbell felt….(sits on stool ) Like a rhinestone…
WR
Donna stop! (to Levi) We are looking for a young man, (takes out picture) James Horton Sweeney. We have reason to believe that he is here.
L
Why do you-
D
We followed him here! All the way from, never mind …can you get me a beer…Rheingold?
L
Levi…
D
Levi...and this lady here will have a ginger ale. Levi? Like the dungarees?
WR
Thank you. Maybe you know him by his other name, Jimmy Sweeney. The photograph is not too recent, you see. Maybe he looks a little different. We had to cut this out of his 8th grade yearbook. Couldn’t make a photocopy of it. His mother didn’t seem to have any recent photographs of him, which was odd.
D
The boy’s ugly, Wilma Rae. Would you want to carry a photograph of him in your pocketbook? Looking at that picked at forehead every time you look for a Certs?
L
(Ignores photo) I never seen anyone like that…what you looking for him for anyhow? (gets drinks)
D
Oh, no special reason. It’s just that he is a liar and a thief! And maybe we’ll add kidnapping victim to the list. But I wouldn’t pay, oh lets say, even, five hundred dollars to get him back. That’s who much he stole!
V
Donna, Jimmy was not kidnapped, despite what his mother may say. Mr. Levi, we just want to have a talk with Jimmy. Get his side of the story. See what he knows about the five hundred dollars…that should have gone to me…
WR
(to Levi) It all started when Stella Knox at the library was looking to get someone to fix her darned Photostat machine! Ladies were canceling their library cards ‘cause they can’t make copies of the recipes outta the McCall’s and Redbooks magazines. I would even let my customers take my recent copy of This Weeks Wig to the public library to photocopy the wig styling instructions for the styles they liked, and bring the magazine back to me.
D
They could just style the wigs themselves, Wilma Rae…
L
Wig Styling?
WR
And I had very little free time, as I was busy styling my own wigs and preparing for the Duck County Annual Talented Telethon. To raise money…
D
(sips beer) …well, of course it’s a talented telethon. Who would want to see a telethon with untalented people in it. You should have used the name I suggested. The whole county -
WR
– laughs at you? Correct me if I am wrong, but who would want to donate to a telethon called “The Donna Glotz Show? We would lose money, not make it….So we were in my Beauty Barn, Donna and I, and what happened to fall out of Donnas raincoat, but a page form the most recent This Weeks Wig that she…(glares at Donna) ripped out of the magazine!
D
It …ah…ripped…out…by accident, and…and…
WR
Donna Glotz! I have more important things ta be doing than to be watching you like a baby-sitter!
D
So, Mr. Levi, I suggested to Wilma Rae that I suggest to Stella Knox that she look into hiring someone to write down the recipes AND (glares at Wilma Rae) wig styling instructions for Wilma Rae – transcribe them - so those ladies wouldn’t have to rip them out of the magazines. At fifty dollars a day, I could have my furnace paid off in two weeks! Less an hour for lunch, plus car far, plus pen and paper supplies…
WR
Donna, your drunken handwriting is so scrawled and scratchy, people wouldn’t think they were recipes you were transcribing…they’d think they were prescriptions from the doctor!
TO BE CONTINUED
“I Wish for a Fish”
Scene Four
Wendy
Jimmy
Two Women
Esther’s Bar, Greenwich Village New York City, summer 1978, after 10pm
Wendy sits at a table, slouched over her crossword magazine. Jimmy quietly approaches and sits at the table with her. We see the back of two women at another table.
JIMMY
So, Wendy, what did you think?
WENDY
Huh? About what?
JIMMY
The readings? What’s been going on here for the last two hours? Were you even listening?
WENDY
Sure I was listening, Jimmy, I just gotta finish this here crossword magazine before Jimmy gets here. He buys me a new one every Thursday night. And tonight is Thursday night.
JIMMY
What did you think of my pieces? The stories and plays of mine that were read? I put a lot of effort into tonight.
WENDY
(Sighs and puts down pen) OK, Jimmy. I liked your stuff, I really did.
JIMMY
Really?
WENDY
Sure! And I’m glad you didn’t write any more about that stupid town that you grew up in. And that bird…geez.
JIMMY
What about the things that you DID hear? Did you like them?
WENDY
I guess…that kid that watched the TV all the time…did he die from watching too much TV? That’s impossible. I watch a lotta TV and I’m not sick!
JIMMY
I meant…he was a symbol of…never mind.
WENDY
And that little girl that was kidnapped? Did anyone ever rescue her? You should a put Kojak in your story, he would a found her. And why didn’t ya finish some a the stories. You left me hanging on mid stream…like I wanted ta know more.
JIMMY
I spent months writing all this, Wendy. You weren’t paying attention at all. (horn honks outside)
WENDY
That must be Hermey. He said he was gonna pick me up at 10.
JIMMY
I didn’t know he has a car.
WENDY
He doesn’t. He takes the bus. (stands)
JIMMY
Then who is honking the horn?
WENDY
(takes sweater) The bus driver Jimmy! (goes to exit) Thanks Jimmy, I gad a good time tonight.
JIMMY
Sure you did. I’ll never be a famous writer.
WENDY
Good night Jimmy. (goes out door, then turns) You know
Jimmy, you may never be a famous writer, but you sure a good one. (exits)
JIMMY
Thanks Wendy! (He picks up his beer and
walks off)
THE END